Oh, heck, though. That's not true. We LOVE it when our friends become successful.
If I was reading right now, I'd be reading Our Dumb World, the latest book from The Onion. It's an atlas!
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And I wouldn't be reading it simply because it's pretty much guaranteed to be a laugh riot like everything else the Onion folks make. It's because a former coworker worked on the darn thing:
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We're awfully proud of you, Brittain! Out there making your way in the big city—just like Marlo Thomas in That Girl!
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