John Moe answers the most important questions he will ever answer...

John Moe, a local public radio personality and gosh-darned funny guy, wrote a book. It's called Conservatize Me, and it concerns a one-month project Mr. Moe undertook to find out whether or not a steady diet of conservative media would turn the mind of a diehard liberal.

To find out the answer, read the book. But for now, read the interview:

1) Of the books you've read recently, which one made you angriest because someone else wrote it instead of you? Why?

That’s easy. John Hodgman’s The Areas Of My Expertise. Screamingly, shockingly, alarmingly funny and so damn smart as well. But beyond that, it’s a book of fearless humor. It’s so extreme, so bizarre, and so brave. A lot of the time with joke making, you start to riff on something and end up pretty far down a dark and weird hallway of humor and then you try to bring it back to some sort of conventional reality and applicability. Hodgman, however, goes further down that hallway and through the doors and into the laundry chute and then out into space.

2) A literary feud is a great way to get some publicity for a book. Who will you be starting a feud with and why?

I thought about taking on Obama since he was on tour at the same time as me. I was going to declare my possible inkling of beginning to think about the option of perhaps running for President maybe, and then launching a series of vicious personal attack ads that were both untrue and libelous. But my 6-year-old is a huge Obama fan so I’'ll leave him alone.

I’m tempted to start a feud with Lee Greenwood, who I talk about a lot in Conservatize Me. I’d feud with him because he sucks so bad and his singing sounds like a donkey being strangled with an electrical cord. If I met Lee Greenwood there would be two hits: me hitting him and him hitting the floor. And then there would be one more hit: me hitting him again while he’'s on the floor.

But he’s not a writer. So I’m left with once again calling out that jerk Chaucer. You and me, Geoffrey. Octagon.

3) During your time hanging out with conservatives, how many heads of prominent evangelical organizations and influential congressmen came on to you?

Weirdly, none. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. In fact, it’s funny, just last night I nudged Trent Lott awake and asked him that same thing.

4) Say something nice about University Book Store.

The University Book Store has a highly imaginative name. See, when you think about it, it is located near the University of Washington and sells books. So there you go!

Also, it’s a place that my sisters used to talk about as if it were a holy shrine. I’m the youngest of four and had two sisters who went to UW. They would describe this store as this big cool place where all the cool people went to get their cool things. I dreamed that some day I would visit it. Now I have a book for sale there and it’s just as cool. Of course my sisters would also talk about how cool the Last Exit coffeehouse and the Lox Stock and Bagel were also and we see what happened to them. Sorry, U Book Store. Your days are numbered!

5) Any closing remarks?

I have two adorable children who need food. Buy my book. Plus, it’s funny and insightful and makes a great gift and all that. But really, do it for my kids.